After seeing the rundown ramshackle of a barn, I was in awe. There were all these amazing items inside...pottery, fine china, pottery barn furniture, art. It was really kind of ridiculous. I was expected odds and ends from under Grandma's guest bed, but this stuff actually looked good!
So I sauntered over to the register and got a bidding card (or whatever you call those placard things.) For the first half hour I sat in shock in the back of the barn. I had no idea what was going on. There were some items that were being sold at the front of the barn, but I couldn't really get a good enough look at them to see how much I was willing to pay for them. And then, by the time I figured out that yes, we could afford to splurge $3 on a big white picture frame, the item would have already been sold. It was a rush unlike anything else.
And then I crossed my arms. Apparently the way that I was crossing my arms inadvertently pushed my bidding placard up in the air. I guess that it could have looked like I was bidding in a very nonchalant way. But seriously, it only looked like I was crossing my arms. And thus began the chaos. The auctioneer thought that I was bidding!! I had kind of been staring off into space. I was looking in her general direction, but I was just kind of falling into a daydream about everything. So imagine my surprise when I "come to" and realize that everyone (about 200 people) is staring back at me. The auctioneer is asking me again if I'm upping the bid on the table and chairs set. To which I say "Oh no. I was just kind of staring off into space. Sorry." And then the auctioneer made some kind of sarcastic remark. I didn't really hear her, because I was already retreating to the farthest rear corner of the barn.
About and hour later (yes, Josh has left at this point) I see a set of canvases at the front that look awesome. Here's kind of how the three canvases went to auction:
auctioneer: and canvas #1. do i hear $10? $10? ok $10. do i hear $15?
me: (thinking) wow. that's a cool canvas. i think i like that.
auctioneer: and canvas #1 sold for $25.
me: (thinking) dang. i liked that one. i hope there's another one that good.
auctioneer: and canvas #2. do i hear $10? $10? ok $10. do i hear $15?
me: (thinking) man, that one is cool too. i wonder how that would look in our bonus room...
auctioneer: and canvas#2 sold for $25.
me: (thinking) seriously?! i have got to start thinking less and bid on this last one. maybe it will be as cool as the others. well, i hope it is.
me: (thinking) seriously?! i have got to start thinking less and bid on this last one. maybe it will be as cool as the others. well, i hope it is.
auctioneer: and the last canvas for sale....do i hear $10? $10?
me: YES!!!!!!! I WANT IT!!!!
auctioneer: Well looky here. Now are you sure you want to bid on this?
me: YES!!!!
auctioneer: Well, you don't have to yell at me about it. Geez. Just raise your placard.
me: (waving my placard in the air)
auctioneer: Does anyone else want to big on this canvas or do y'all want to let this first time buyer get it for $10?
....silence......and more silence....its getting awkward now.....
auctioneer: And there you have it dear. You've got this canvas for $10.
And then everyone starts clapping for me. And I smile, even though I know its a belittling sort of clapping....who wouldn't love to have 200 people clap for you?!
So I ran to the loading area of the barn so that I could actually look at the canvas up close. It was perfect and I knew Josh was going to love it. I just had to sit and wait for him to come and pick me up. The next half hour went by in a rush. I had no idea what was even being auctioned off half of the time. I just sat there smiling, thinking about how good its going to look at our house.
Josh comes to pick me up and I show him the canvas in the back. He loves it too! However, upon closer inspection we realize that the canvas has been slightly damaged. It wasn't damaged when I came to look at it right after I bid on it. We conclude that it must have been damaged when other people were getting their items out of the back room. We decide its not really worth the hassel. We grab the paiting, toss it in the back of the car and head back to the beach house to celebrate.
So what do you think of our $10 buy?
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