Lunch Diva drama

I love my husband. Really, I do. Quite a lot actually.
But the man can drive me crazy. Really, he does. Quite a lot actually.

It happens every weekday around 12:45pm. Josh walks in the door, announces his hunger level and then launches into how "we" never have anything in the house for him to eat for lunch. I love how guys use the married "we" when they really mean "you." You know, as in "we need to do some laundry" or "we need to reseed the lawn"

I think the problem started when Josh was single (I mean really, all guys' problems start before they get married. I sometimes think they got married so that their wife would solve all their woes.) When Josh was single, he ate out a ton. Nearly every meal. Seriously. And its strange, because he's actually quite a good cook. But alas, he was alone and didn't have anyone to tell him how absolutely frivolous it is to eat out for every meal.

But now he has me to tell him how frivolous he is. Aint love grand?

I've been doing our grocery shopping since we got married. I have to since Josh would chose to use all our money for eating out. I look for discounts and try to maximize our budget and shop at multiple grocery stores in search of the best deals and fresh produce. I make sure Josh has breakfast foods, drinks and snacks. I plan our dinners, so I get ingredients for those meals. But I never know what to get for Josh for lunch.....because he is a Lunch Diva. One day he might want a homemade pizza, the next day a Reuben, the next day a spinach salad, the next day jambalaya, and the list goes on. The grocery bill would be astronomical and 80% of the leftover ingredients wouldn't get eaten. (We actually got into a heated discussion about bread with some friends on Sunday night. Josh thinks its totally OK to buy a loaf of bread and only eat 2 slices.)

So fast forward to yesterday at 11:40am. Josh calls to tell me how hungry he is. The message is about an hour earlier than I was expecting....I think catching me off guard actually lead to some clear thinking.

I proceeded to tell Josh that I would give him a dollar for every lunch item he could give me to buy him from the grocery store. The catch was that he had to actually eat all the items this week. He quickly spouted out seven items, grabbed the $5 bill out of my hand and ran out the door. To Chick-Fil-A.

I just paid my husband to make a grocery list. What is the world coming to?
And does anyone have any other ideas besides bribing Josh?


Pashmina and Pearls said...

Actually, when Josh was single he would neighborhood hop to see which Jones family was having dinner.

Pashmina and Pearls said...

Actually, when Josh was single and living in the Hendo, he would "house hop" and find which Jones family was serving dinner. Or how to smooze his younger female cousins into making him a snack. Or eating food out of grandma's pantry. He was rather frugal.

Blair said...

i did forget the stories about how josh would just 'happen' to drop by your house at dinner time
he thought he was so smooth, huh?!

nicolefiehler said...

HI-LARIOUS! loved seeing ya'll...and talking about josh's bad lunch habits :)

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